Fellatio Cafes: Serving up Coffee and Blowjobs in Europe

A caffeine fix and release before the start of a busy day – this is not a dream, but a possible reality!

That’s right you read it correct – Blowjob Bars!

Thanks to its creator, Bradley Charvet, we have now come to an age of happy-ending-coffee-shops.

Charvet plans on opening multiple Fellatio Cafes throughout Europe using robots as sexual escorts.

According to Fellatio Cafe, BumPix, the UK’s first social network for escorts, has gone deeper (no pun intended) into the tech world by investing dollars into the robot sector. Their plan is to place robotic sex toys in cafes across Europe for a little blow and go.

The first cafe was supposed to open up in Geneva, Switzerland back in December of 2016. Though the opening has not been confirmed, there are plans to now open up another in Paddington, London.

“This idea comes from Pattaya, [in Thailand], where we saw this kind of cafe a few years ago,” Charvet said via a Q&A with Christopher Hooton for the Independent.

“We’re not going to serve any alcohol, just coffee, and then we will also serve pastries, sandwiches, etc. Everyone drinks coffee, it’s social.”

credit: Wikimedia Commons
credit: Wikimedia Commons

Coffee will be social all right, talking daily business with friends and colleagues while getting your caffeine kick and natural release.

Sounds like the Brits will finally have the first opportunity to find out what other men’s orgasm-face will look like as they drink their morning mud.

So what’s the price for this cafe experience?

Well, it will cost you 60 euros for a 15-minute session where one can enjoy a cup of Joe and a hummer.

If it takes you longer than 15 minutes to get off, then there will be an extra 10-euro charge for every 15 minutes there after, so don’t be shy – let it rip or you’ll pay the price, literally.

With prostitution being legal in both Geneva and London (it’s just illegal to own & operate a brothel in London), the legality of the business is somewhat neutral.

As robots stand at the forefront of Charvet’s business model and thus, the advancement of robots in today’s age, some serious social and legal jabber will ensue…

Could sex with robots be a legal form of prostitution in the United States? Will sex robots simply make a great gift under the Christmas tree (what’s a vibrator any way)? Or, could a sex robot be given out or experienced as a right of passage to a child reaching sexual maturity?

They come with no STDs, no way of pregnancy, and hey, if I had daughter, I’d rather her not touch a living male for the entirety of her life on Earth.

Nevertheless, there are numerous companies that are investing in the technology to have our sexual needs met by a robotic android who can tease and please without the mess of emotional connections.

“We are in discussions with a company called MySiliconeLoveDoll to do a test quite soon,” Charvet told Gabe Bergado via Inverse. “We are thinking about a rental service (for the love dolls). Prices are between $1,000 and $3,000.”

The client will enter the establishment, order his/her drink and pick a robot slut from an iPad.

I’m guessing the robot will be placed secretly under the table or bar by a very skilled Barista for a 15-minute milking session.

Unfortunately for the barista, they’ll remain human and will have to endure the hot mess of strangers getting off at their bar.

Maybe, as these Fellatio Cafes increase, the stock of companies selling all-purpose cleaners will go up!

At this time Charvet’s Fellatio Cafes only cater to men, sorry ladies. But they are considering to propose a service that will please the honey pot in the near future.

So cheers to the future of robots and sex. But, be sure not to spill on your sex bot – things could get ugly!

Though robots may take us over in the long run, what better way to enslave our technology by having it get us off, while we get an early morning caffeine spike.